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My daughter Kim Rumney died suddenly on Saturday 22 March 2014 in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.  She was 25 years old, in her final year studying Pharmacy at NMMU (Nelson Mandela Metropole University).  She was so excited about finishing her degree and moving to Cape Town to join her boyfriend of 7 1/2 years who is studying at Sillwood. 

She was going to have breakfast with a friend of theirs and her boyfriend sent her a whats app message at 10h55 and she sent one back, walked up the stairs and dropped dead on the landing at about 11h04.  We now know that it was a deep vein thrombosis in her "sore" left leg which broke free and became a pulmonary embolism and she died almost instantly with no warning. 

So my darling precious daughter is dead and my heart is broken.  I am just struggling to accept the reality because I don't want it to be this way!  Silly, isn't it?  In the script of life one never even entertains the idea that one of your children will die before you do!

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Comment by penny kreitzer on September 26, 2014 at 18:05

My heart is with you.  It isnt silly not to want it to be this way.    I have found that one of the hardest thing since my daughter was killed is the inability of many people to understand that grieving is a process...it doesnt just stop....and when your child dies because of other people's negligence and they seem to get away with it....you have anger towards them....at least in the first year, maybe more.  There is no timeline to grieving.  It goes through a process and if only there could be a way to educate others to be more careful, to have bigger hearts, not to be afraid of us/me....oh the difficulty of hearing words like  "let it go.   move on with your life"

Useless and harmful.   This is something we have no training for, no skills to prepare us.

Perhaps in Africa it is different.   Because there is so much violence and so many young people have died suddenly.   

I have no words of advice other than to know that your daughter is all GOOD.  And whether time heals or not.....I am only 14 months into it and it is more raw because I have less loving support.   Sometimes I get the feeling that there are people who think they may "catch it" from me like a disease.   I have spoken to other mothers who feel the same.   I do wonder is this just America...

How long did your daughter have a sore left leg.   Do you have other children?   

I hear you and I wish I could give you a big hug and listen to you talk about anything and everything you might want to say about your daughter.

xoxox Penny

Comment by leah newstead on May 4, 2014 at 15:00

I am heartbroken for you, Deborah!  I lost my 43 year old son just over 2 months ago after a brave battle against lung cancer.  He left behind a heartbroken mother and father, a devastasted brother and sister, a griefstricken wife and 4 beautiful children - 2 boys aged 12 and 9, a little princess who had just turned 7, and a baby boy of only 2 1/2.  My life will never ever be the same again!

Comment by Jennifer Sharpe on April 30, 2014 at 21:28

Deborah - I can relate to your heartache - my daughter was 23 when she was killed in a head on collision. I share your pain.

Comment by michelle rack on April 30, 2014 at 15:44

Dear deborah 

my heart goes out too you my daughter tatum passed away just over a year ago at age of 28, also  of pulmonary embolism she passed  away instantly . please deborah  believe you me it doent get any better, 

Comment by Diana Thomson on April 29, 2014 at 10:54

Dear Kim,  My heart goes out to you. You have a long road to follow. My beloved son Mike of 39 years, wonderful father of three and a devoted husband, was murdered in his home just on 61/2 years ago.  I can so identify with you your pain and disbelief that Kim is no  longer going to walk in that door.  I cannot offer any trite platitudes of how time will heal  etc; the pain does not go away, you just learn to to cope better and carry on. I have recently had a book published on my very real spiritual connection I have had with my son which has been a huge help in my growth. It has been such a comfort to go to a good medium and come away feeling that I have have had a long distance phone call with him.

I am sure that Kim will be leaving signs... look for them and you will find them. 

My book is available from me at the moment.

Be kind to your self and cry when you feel the need.

Diana Thomson

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