I haven't posted in years as life has become a whirlwind of change and thankfully for the better.
Following my last entry, that 'nice guy' has become my 3rd (and final ha ha) husband. I was reluctant to remarry, and even my mom on her deathbed said just be happy who cares anymore. That in itself was a miracle as she was staunchly conservative and wanted me to be a traditional 'married with children' woman. That sadly (and blessedly) eluded me in the past.
I am sitting here at the precipice of a whole new life wondering what the hell happened. After my ex-husband left me, not even a month after the baby died, I was in a total state of trauma. I begged G-d to bring him back. Why? Why would I beg him to bring back someone who was so cruel and unkind and clearly didn’t even care? I was lost. I was desperate to hold on to what I thought was a marriage, to have what I always wanted - a family. Looking back to before Nasya died, the signs were…Continue
im still in shock, my due date hasnt even come up yet and i am already divorced. Divorce came through last week. Another cruel reminder of how i was left by my husband to fend for myself in all the grief and trauma i was experiencing. I still cant understand how he could marry me, promise before G-d and family to love me, support me and be with me, only to leave me 2 months later. its beyond the normal comprehension of sanity. Something i struggle with as much as why my baby died. I am…Continue