In honour and in memory of: Brett Goldin, Leigh Matthews, Steven Siebert, Gavin Finkel, Lauren And Jonty De Groen, Tali Rabinowitz, Ashley Kaimowitz, Darren Aberman, Merissa Naidoo, Baby Jordan -leigh Norton, Brandon Mechanik, Louise De Waal, Daniélle Lunsky, Nolan Falken, Bart Dorrestein Jnr, Jarren Koppel, and the late Peter Goldin.
Founder: Denise Goldin
Founder Members: Samantha Goldin Behrmann (sibling), the late Peter Goldin, Elaine Siebert, Desire Finkel, Gabi de Groen, Ros Kruger, Jeff and Megan Kaimowitz, Hylton Aberman, Adrienne Aberman-Jacobson, Lingse and Roshila Naidoo, Vernon Norton (grandfather), Glenda Lunsky, Jean Falken, Shireen de Waal, Yael Fine and Wendy Mechanik.
This is not a professional site offering any form of professional counselling and has been established purely as a forum for discussion amongst those of us who have suffered the worst loss one could encounter - that of the passing of a child or children. Members are those who may have need to talk about a loss of many years ago, a recent loss or even one that is forthcoming through an existing terminal illness.
We have been there for each other, chatting openly and honestly of our feelings to one another, knowing the deep understanding that is offered and the comfort experienced can only come from another who has endured the same pain... Be it from an accident, illness, substance abuse, suicide, stillbirth or murder. Even miscarriages carry huge loss with them.
In so many instances, it is the Mom who is the focus of the loss. The child she gave life to is no more...this is, indeed, the case. her grief is unbearable, unacceptable. We pause here, to acknowledge and recognize the extreme pain of the father who often feels "the need to keep strong" to support his family - internalising some of his feelings and dealing with them in a different manner. This can be destructive for himself and his marriage or partnership. Then there are the siblings, distraught beyond belief at their loss and also reeling at the affect on their parents, wondering if they will get through it. Fear, guilt perhaps, that maybe it should have been them instead. Finally the grandparents, a double whammy, not only coping with the grandchild's loss and thinking "Why such a young person and not me?", but also the extreme distress of watching their own child in such enormous pain.
So friends, we chat, we share, we hand hold, we comfort and offer each other compassion, tips, advice from personal experience, coping skills that we personally use which, we have found have helped ourselves - to get through each day or each moment. We do not claim to have all the answers or to be able to fix, rectify or consult. We simply cannot, we are not professionals and cannot accept responsibility or give guarantees for another's well being.
When one thinks of titles given to loss, amongst which there is genocide, massive loss of a group of people, patricide, when a family is killed; you are a widow when you lose a spouse, an orphan if you have lost your parents, an only child if you have lost your sibling, and yet there is no available word to describe the loss of a child.
It is hoped and prayed that this international forum will bring comfort and assist us to navigate that deep, dark hole that has formed inside us, so that we don't fall into it, and we can develop the strength and acceptance needed to eventually wear our grief, like a warm cape, around us. There is still a life ahead, for us and our beloved families.
Please feel free to join our website and browse through the pages of our members. We encourage you to blog, join groups and communicate with other members through the many channels available. Don't be overwhelmed by what is on offer, there are directions on every page to assist you with navigating all elements of this community.
W.C.W. is a protected network strictly for the use of families who have suffered the loss a child. Any misuse of this website is liable for legal action. Rights of participation reserved. Outside parties wishing to donate, offer assistance or advertise are to please contact the administrator by clicking here.