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we lost a baby or toddles

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we lost a baby or toddles

The best day in a persons life is when you hold your child for the firts time.

The worts day of a person life is when you hold your child for the last time.

Loosing a child  that still had a long life to live isn't easy to deal with and it definatly leaves a parent with loads of questions.

Members: 13
Latest Activity: Jul 2, 2013

Discussion Forum

BAHI Healing concert 4 August 2013

Started by Laurika Steenkamp Jul 2, 2013. 0 Replies

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Tags: concert, Healing, BAHI

Baby loss

Started by Danya Herman. Last reply by Felicity Schoombee Sep 20, 2012. 11 Replies

Lost a baby before she was born and its also excruciating. I wanted a baby for years and having her wripped from my womb was alike to wanting to join her, take her place, leave this world all in one…Continue

Borrowed Angels Healing Iniciative

Started by Laurika Steenkamp. Last reply by Danya Herman Jul 2, 2012. 1 Reply

The Borrowed Angels Healing Initiative Have you lost a child through stillbirth or another form of pregnancy loss?Do you know anyone who has and would benefit from the sharing of understanding and…Continue

Tags: http://www.artscape.co.za/show/bahi-healing-concert/497/

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Comment by Laurika Steenkamp on July 2, 2013 at 14:01

This was my story that I posted 8 November 2010. Sorry it is in Afrikaans......

My Storie Milan en Lilo

Ek het eers op 16 weke uitgevind dat ek met 'n tweeling swanger was - wat 'n wonderlike skok. Ons het gereken dat ons nou dubbel geseen word aangesien on so lank (4 jaar) probeer het.

Op 18 weke het ek eers begin wys en teen 21 weke het ek so vinnig uitgesit dat ek al minstens 7 maande swanger gelyk het. Ek was konstant in pyn - orals - maar het gedink dit is maar omdat ek so vinnig groei. AS JY PYN HET GAAN DOKTER TOE!

Ek het toe begin vermoed iets is nie reg toe ek deur die nag vreeslike pyne gehad het. Die volgende oggend hospitaal toe. Milan en Lilo was 100% maar ek het kontraksies (regtes) gehad. Na een 2 dae in hospitaal is ek huistoe - op bedrus.

Ek het nie uit die bed geroer nie en baie gebid vir my 2tjies. Dinsdag oggend 5 uur (1 dag voor 23 weke) toe voel ek daar is groot fout. Weer hospitaal toe. Ja weer kontraksies. 2ling steeds OK. dankie tog. Susters monitor elke 15 min my kontraksies - dit steeds daar. Teen 11 uur die oggend begin water lek. of soos een ongevoellige dokter dis gestel het , ai nou kan ek nie die engelse woord onthou nie maar dit beteken "dit spuit uit".

Die dokter ondersoek my en sê ewe ongevoellig vir my dat daar geen manier is om die 2ling te red nie. Hulle kan nognie asem haal nie en die kans op infeksie in baie groot. As ek enigsins gedink het (en dokters) dat ek nog 2 of 3 weke kon lê dan sou ek. Maar hul kon nie die kraam stop nie. 

Ek en Henk moes teen 5 uur daardie middag besluit of ons induksie gaan doen - wat 'n dag. Milan en Lilo het nog lewendig in my geskop en ons moes besluit of ons induksie doen..........

Ek het besef dat daar geen uitweg is nie, al wou ek dit nie glo nie. Teen 5 uur het hul induksie gedoen. Milan is eers DIE VOLGENDE AAND 8:30 gebore en Lilo 9:00. Ek wou nie na hul kyk nie omdat ek hul as 2 lewendige woelwaters wou onthou (baie gewonder en gespook by my of dit die regte besluit was - maar vandag bly)

Na hul geboorte het die plasenta vasgehaak! teater toe... het die oggen 1uur daar uitgekom. Kon glad nie slaap nie. was moeg, seer, verslae, hartseer en leeg. My arme man toe huistoe na 2 dae van langs my bed waak.

Dokter het my kom sien en vra of my borste seer was (dit was nie). Hoe moes ek nou weet mens kan steeds melk kry. Die Sondag aand swel ek toe op soos waartlemoene met melk vir 2 kindertjies wat ek nie meer het nie - how cruel!

Nou ja, net die geboorte self was vir my so traumaties dat ek dit vir lank weggebere het, tot ek begin sukkel het om enigeiets te onthou - bv kon nie my musiek leerling se name onthou nie...... toe besef ek moet deur dit werk.

Dit is nou al maar as 'n jaar en ek sukkel steeds MAAR God se hand hou my baie STYF vas. Sonder Hom sou ek al verseker in 'n gestig gewees het.

Comment by Bernadette Nieuwenhuis on July 3, 2012 at 18:47

We lost our baby boy Jaun 7 days after he was born. he had a gastrothesis ( born with his intestines outside his body) he had 3 operations in the 7 days he was with us. He passed away from an infection, the doctors couldnt identify the infection, they did everything they could. but he was just to weak.  He was the best unexpected mirracle... i find it incredibly hard to move on, feels like nothing compares to that moment i realised i was a mom.

Comment by Joe Lues on June 1, 2012 at 9:32

God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
As the days come and go and the world moves on,
I know you're still here, you'll never be gone.
On the night the Angel came and
took your hand,
We cried as you left for an unknown land.
But Heaven rejoiced as you came into
sight,
For your soul was a diamond, shining so bright!

Comment by Joleen Abdo Dippenaar on May 9, 2012 at 11:37

As a parent who has lost a child, I understand exactly what each parent goes through. Words cannot describe the pain.

I gave birth to a baby boy on the 4-4-2008.  4 days later the drs diagnosed him with absence of the corpus callosum.  At first as a parent you are shocked to learn that your baby has a syndrome and your head is filled with so many questions of which my only question at that stage was to the Dr taking care of him was "what is the worst that can happen to him"  the Dr responded that the worst can be that he become a "bleeder". 

After realising that this little soul was given to me for a reason, I made a promise to him and to myself to LOVE him no matter what lay ahead of us.

3 months later he had surgery to correct a hernia he developed as well as a anoplasty to assist his bowel movements, then was seen by a Cardiologist to ensure everything was running smoothly with his heart.  According to the specialists an innocent murmur was located, and would require annual cardiac assessments to ensure all was fine.

A month later my friend and grandfather sadly passed away.  At this stage I felt like my whole world had collapsed. 

Two days before my grandfather passed away, he sent me a message to find out how Reichan was.  Was this a sign?

On the Monday evening I sat watching the sunset and prayed, I asked that guidance be given to me for my situation as I am trying my best as mother.  I then got up and opened my Bible and started to read:  "God says, I lone these children too you and I can fetch them at any time"  I immediately gave that what I read some thought and asked myself which one of my three children would I be able to give back to God if he appeared before me now?  That I could not answer!!!

Tuesday night I put my two other boys to bed and started dinner.  Reichan finally fell asleep and for the first time since his birth, I never laid him on his foetal breathing monitor.  I proceeded with dinner and then strangely I sat down to watch a film where a lady was on her death bed and her Priest was reading her, her last rights.  At that exact moment, I experienced a shiver that moved up my body and I just knew something was wrong!

I ran upstairs and when I got to my room, the door had slightly closed, but at the top of my staircase a voice said to me "prepare yourself"  and I just knew what waited for me on the other side.

There he lay.... unresponsive, cold and blue....  I grabbed him and immediately started CPR and called for the ER services.  I got a closed theatre sister friend of mine to come up to my house, which we then assisted each other with giving him CPR while I drove us to the closest location to meet the medics.  When arriving at the hospital I knew what lay ahead of me, but everything felt so surreal...  One minute he was there the next he was longer.

Everyday I miss those little brown eyes that lay looking at me.  Everyday I feel disappointed in the Dr's for not telling me that death could be a possibility, everday I wish that I didn't have to go through the pain of losing a little soul so precious, but then when I think of the type of life he would of had, I realise that God gave him to me for a reason and that I should trust in his decision for taking my little soul and freeing him from all his pain.

Reichan Samuel Dippenaar, there's not a day that goes by were myself, Aidan and Eugene don't miss you, talk about you and wish you could be with us.  There's not a day that goes by, where we are not reminded of you by the small things nature has to offer us and for the beauty that we are surrounded with.

We LOVE you and MISS you incredibly, but we also know that you are at PEACE! XXX

 

Comment by Joe Lues on May 9, 2012 at 10:00

Good Morning

My little one Tristan " little T "  was 4years and 8 months old wen he passed on from an epeleptic seizure during the knight. i stil can not believe he is gone and sometimes burst in to tears whilst driving just thinking of him. he was our little angel and now he is a real angel.

 

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