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What is the best way to bering up a child after her father has died of suicide? Where did I go wrong?

My sweet and talented Tali seemed to be a composed little girll who had no trouble with schoolwork and friends.  Her father died when she was 6 yrs old of suicide.  I decided to tell her (them) my son as well, that daddy had a sore brain and it was like any other illness.  In the end he could live with his sore mind no longer.  Thinking this was the best course of action I then told the children to write down their memories of their father otherwise they would forget him.

Years later my son commended me on that action (today he is a psychologist) but as time wore on I could see that my daughter's moods were going up and down.  I took her to see several psychologist and even took her to a "Science of Mind" course (metaphysical thinking) which I thought would help her but apparently had no effect at all.  I was to discover that "Thinking Positive" does not help children with clinical depression.

Unfortunately my precious Tali took her own life at age 26 after trying to commit suicide several times.  I have had many years of agonizing reflection trying to think about what I did "wrong". After this reflection I now feel it is ultra important for children of that age to have long-term counselling which in those days and living in Krugersdorp, I didn't think about.

I so wish I had now.  Whether it would have made a difference I don't know.  But one always looks back anyway and thinks: "if only".....

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Hi Rosalie - losing a child through suicide is the worst nightmare of a mother - I have been through that 12 years ago when my only son did that and to this day - I ask myself where did I go wrong - I have not come to terms with his death and I miss him terribly as after his death I got divorced and now I am alone - my other child is married and she has her own life.  I know if my son was alive my life would have been better - I always ask "god why did you rob me of my precious gem" I am still waiting for an answer - all I can say is that GOD IS MY ONLY COMFORT - take care


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