Its amazing how I've managed to live my llfe without my precious daughter. Some days are fine and then suddenly I'm thinking of Tali and cannot go past the day that I ran into the ward at Tara Hospital and found her crumpled in a heap. Her beautiful brown eyes, so expressive, were rolled back and all I could do was scream. "Get a Doctor!!"
They sent me to the next room while the Doctor was examining Tali and he came back to tell me that the couldn't revive her.
I refused to leave the hospital until I'd seen my daughter for one last time. She was laid out on a table with a scarf wrapped around her head. Her skin was pale and her eyes were closed. There was a red mark on her lower lip which looked like she had bitten it. I had no thoughts at that point. I felt so confused.
I am still confused today as to how this could have possibly happened especially as she was under the care of psychologists and psychiatrists at the hospital.
Was it pure negligence and unawareness of the skeleton staff on a Sunday who are supposed to
keep a close eye on the patients? Should I have sued Tara Hospital? That wouldn't have brought my daughter back but it would certainly have woken them up.
Because of the negligence that day, I am left with a gaping hole in my life. The presence of m precious daughter who is not replaceable.
How heartbreaking to lose your only son. Yes the hurt always is there - its as if someone has slammed a door in our faces and there's no getting in again. I HAVE FOUND THAT THE ONLY WAY TO CARRY ON IS TO REBUILD MY LIFE COMPLETELY. I moved away from thehouse | and area I was staying in. The reminders were all around me in the old area. I packed Tali's things away. I met someone knew who made me happy (my husband had died) and have "adopted his family" (they aregrown up but I am very fond of them. My only son is living away from Jhb but I speak to him regularly.
How old was your son when he passed away?
So much hardship - I feel for you Irene and it appears that you didn't have much luck. I also 2 husbands. The one (Tali's father) died from suicide and the other from an internal haemorrhage (he was overdosing on painkillers) Its not easy to be on one's own but I'm glad that your faith is strong. I'm sure it has carried you through.
Send a photo of your son if you can.